Changes

I have decided to become a very quiet and intuitive person.

My friend Anne is a very quiet and intuitive person. Also, most independent film stars are quiet and intuitive people (i.e. Ryan Gosling and that girl from Eagle V.S Shark). Also, nuns.

It is a known fact that very quiet and intuitive people can see into your soul and know the real truth about you.

They know that when you storm out of a bar because your friends don't want to play darts with you, you are really just harboring a deep seeded resentment toward your older brother for never letting you play spaceships with him and his friends.

They understand that when you say "I do not want to go out tonight", you are really saying "I have a real problem with letting people love me because my father was a career minded business man who 'worked' long hours at the office and my mother was an unhappy housewife who drowned her sorrows in gin and General Hospital thereby leaving me to spend most of my time alone in the garage crying, playing with wood and developing a real fear of intimacy".

I am the opposite of quiet and intuitive. I am loud and self-involved. When I was small I used to get naked and run around the house screaming at the top of my lungs. My mother would ignore me and I didn't even care.

If you storm out of a bar, I will think it has to do with something stupid I have said that offended you and in order to protect my fragile ego, I will call you a baby behind your back.

If you tell me you "do not want to go out tonight", I will think that is the lamest thing I have ever heard and call you a Party Pooper.

When I try to look deep into the recesses of someone's mind, I get confused and lonely and think about a million grains of sand.

But no longer!

The next time you see me, the air will burn from my stillness and I'll be elbow deep in your soul.