At an Italian restaurant in Larchmont Village.
Me: Which soup do you recommend, the lentil or the minestrone?
Waitress (with a British accent and a herp on her lip): Umm, the minestrone.
Me: I'll have the lentil.
Friends at table: (apologetically laugh)
Me: Wait...oh no..no...I didn't choose the lentil because you recommended the minestrone...I trust your judgement...I do...I didn't mean to be rude...I just had already wanted the lentil and then at the last minute when you were taking the order I thought I would ask you your opinion but then ultimately decided to go with my first instinct which was the lentil...I never even really wanted the minestrone...I don't even know why I asked you..sorry..I'm sorry...I shouldn't even be bothering you...I should just order what I want in the first place...
Me: (out loud) Shut up Jennie.
Later. At Sprinkles (correction: CRUMBS. I got my fancy cupcake places mixed up) Cupcakes in Larchmont Village.
Me: Is there anything cool about the Oreo cupcake?
Guy behind the counter: Umm...what do...? Um, it has a fudge center.
Me: Yeah..that's what I meant...like some of the cupcakes have a surprise center with like fudge or peanut butter or jam or something...I mean the cupcake is already "cool", I mean it's a cupcake! I just wanted to know what was special about the Oreo one, but now I'm thinking I want the Black Forest one...so is there anything cool about that one?
Me: (in my head, then out loud) Shut up Jennie
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2 comments:
Never shut up - this is what makes you "you". Ooohhhh cupcakes, now I'm horny...I mean hungry.
Chaka
You didn't want the ministrone cause you figured she drank it straight from the soup kettle and got nasty herp all over the rim right? I would have done the same thing.
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